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Growing up I spent the majority of my time on a farm with my grandparents. My mom was a single mother raising two children on her own, with the help of family of course. I was my granddaddy’s shadow. We grew up in a middle class neighborhood. Went to public school, attended the local Southern Baptist church, have to clarify that because there is a difference in Baptist and Southern Baptist and only those from the South know that, sorry y’all! I went on mission trips, sang in the youth choir, graduated from high school then went on to college. I would say that my childhood had its struggles but for the most part I had a peaceful happy life. So now you ask…how could your life be a battlefield?

I have realized the older I get (uuuggghhh) that my life has been a battlefield since the day that I came into this world. It isn’t something that just suddenly happened one day. The minute that I entered this world Satan was there to steal kill and destroy. Thankfully, until I reached an age of accountability I had a loving mother and grandparents that prayed God’s protection over me daily. If I had to guess I would say that they still pray that prayer because for a long time, actually between the ages of 13 and 39 I lived in a fog. I knew I was a Christian, I did bible study, went to church but the daily relationship, the constant communication, the ability to sense and feel Him didn’t come until about 5 years ago. The day my mother told me that she had cancer. I remember vividly laying on the couch because she had to sleep in the recliner and being wide awake and staring at the clock on the VCR, you know the one that is always blinking with the wrong time. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me “Okay, this is where the rubber meets the road. Do you really believe everything that you say you believe or are they just words that apply to someone else and not you”? That is when my world changed. I became in a battle with Satan for my mother’s life. I prayed, I fasted, I cried and then I became exhausted. I realized this was something only God could fix. In the middle of my bedroom floor, as a heaping crying hot mess, I gave it over, I had to realize that some things in this life are just bigger than we mere humans are. But guess what? God intended it that way. It is in those moments that the “faith” thing comes in. Now that my friends, will change your life. Today my mother is a walking miracle. She is a 2 time lymphoma survivor and a bone marrow transplant recipient. God did it, none of me and all of Him. Her faith, my faith and everyone else’s was an act of obedience to trust Him. I knew that my mother would be healed either way. Some are healed in heaven and some are healed here on earth. I am thankful that He chose to heal her here on earth.

The closer that we grow to the Lord the harder that Satan will pursue us. He knows that once we are children of The King he can no longer get us but he will strive to make us as miserable as possible. Hence the battlefield. But the good news is that God is right there beside you! Sometimes we need others to help us with those battles. I am in a battle of sorts as we speak but God has given me the assurance that this battle is not mine to fight. He is fighting on my behalf. I am thankful for the sweet sister in Christ that God has given me to stand with me. Some folks are given to us for a specific period of time to help us but this sister, God gave me this one as a life long sister. I hope that everyone has someone who will stand with them on this battlefield we call life. If you don’t I encourage you to pray and ask God to give you that someone. God desires for us to be victorious and there is no need that we have that He cannot handle. Be encouraged today that when everyone fails you, God, the maker of heaven and earth has your back.

My grandmother always told me growing up that “if you aren’t facing the devil everyday then you may want to take a look at your relationship with Jesus”. Oh how right she is.

 

The Lord will fight for you; all you have to do is keep still. Exodus 14:14

 

 

 

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Flies on the Butter

Image

If you are reading this and are at least 40 or over then as a kid you probably remember the flies getting on the butter. Well, I should probably say you will remember if you grew up a country girl like me. It isn’t necessarily about flies on the butter as much as it is the memories that we have as children.

There is a song titled “Flies on the Butter” by Wynonna Judd. I love this song because it takes me back to the all the memories from my childhood. In the front yard running through the sprinkler in my underwear, licking the spoon after my grandmother finished baking a cake, swinging on the front porch with my granddaddy and if you were outside you had a fly swatter in your hand. Most times as a child at some point that same fly swatter got used on my legs but hey…I was little, prissy and a smarty pants.

The one memory that will forever be ingrained in me is the sound of a wooden screen door when it opens and closes. That sound takes me back to the days of eating watermelon straight out of the garden, hiding under the muscadine vines in the backyard because it is the only place with shade on a hot summer day, and tall glasses of sweet tea. As we journey through life it is memories like these that keep me grounded, remind me of who I am and where I came from and the reasons that I have to be proud of all that and much more. It seems like every day life gets busier, time gets shorter and we just can’t seem to get it all done. If your like me, I would give anything to go back to those days when life seemed less complicated. I hear people say that technology has made life so much easier but I have to ask the question…has it really???? I know all it has done for me is help me cram more and more things into the day. Give people access to me at any given time. Remember the days that if you wanted to talk to someone we had to wait until they got home or get in the car and go see them, now they are only a phone call away at any given time and heaven forbid they not pick up the phone when we call, I mean how dare they!

I called my grandmother the other day to say hello and tell her that I loved her and when I asked her “whatcha doin”? She replied sittin on the front porch listening to the birds sing. Ahhhhh

See if these lyrics bring back any memories for you. ūüôā

Old tin roof, leaves in the gutter
A hole in the screen door big as your fist, and flies on the butter
Mamaw baking sugar cookies, we were watching cartoons
Heard her holler from the kitchen which one of you youngin’s wants to lick the spoon?
Yellow jackets on the watermelon, honeysuckle in the air
Daddy turning on the sprinkler, us kids running through it in our underwear
Old dog napping on the front porch, his ear just a-twitching
Fell asleep on Granddaddy’s lap to the sound of his pocket watch ticking[Chorus]
Oh, oh, oh – Oh, oh, oh
It doesn’t seem like it was all that long ago
Oh, oh, oh – Oh, oh, oh
You can dream about it every now and then
But you can’t go home again

Me and my best friend Jenny set up a back yard camp
Stole one of Mama’s Mason jars, poked holes in the lid and made a fire fly lamp
Me and Billy Monroe sneaking down by the river
And I’m still haunted by the taste kiss I was too scared to give him

[Repeat Chorus]

There’s a black-top road, a faded yellow centerline
It can take you back to the place, but it can’t take you back in time

[Repeat Chorus]

Old tin roof, leaves in the gutter
A hole in the screen door big as your fist, and flies on the butter

Where is your Joy?

I ask that question like there is a mysterious answer. There isn’t.

I really is just a simple question. Where does your joy come from? Try not to confuse joy with happiness. Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes as I read someone put it this way “Joy is different from happiness in that the word “happy” comes from the same root word as “happen”: “hap.” “Hap” means chance or fate. the feeling of happiness comes from what happens to a person by chance, but joy is a source of delight. It is what lies underneath all emotions, no matter what happens to a person”.

If we allow what “happens” to us to determine our Joy then one will never have lasting Joy. There are some things that happen to us that¬† are beyond our control. I don’t know about you but I for one, do not want my joy hinging on things that are out of my control. Having said that if we put our Joy in Jesus then our Joy will be everlasting. Why? Because he is for us not against us. Jeremiah 29:11 says that “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for Hope and a future”. God is good, you remember the prayer that we all learned when we were babies. God is great, God is good… If you place your happiness in things you will always find yourself looking for the next best thing. The newer car, the bigger house, the better job and for some the newer husband, lol!!!! If you look over those and other things they are always changing. God never changes, he is the same yesterday, today and will be the same tomorrow. Don’t you desire something that is stable? There is so much instability in the world today I know that I have to cling to the stability or I will be tossed about with the waves. All those things I listed above can come from God for us to enjoy but are not meant to be the root source of our joy. There is a difference.

It is my hope in 2012 that you will seek stability, stability in our Savior! As my grandmother always says “Oh princess, God is so good”!

Hidden Jewels

I am sure that all of us at some point in our lives so far have found something of value. Even if it was a penny it still has value. Most people when they think of value  they think of the monetary aspect. While that can be part of the equation there is much, much more. As I have begun to stand beside my mother for our second fight against cancer in the last two years God has graciously shown me that he is with me in many ways. Mostly through my friends. I have always believed in quality above quantity. It is times like these that define the jewels from the junk.I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends and family as you can see above, that one could ever wish for. I would like to take this moment in time to let them along with everyone else know how valuable and irreplaceable you are and will always be.

Laura, you and I have been friends for over 30 years. That amazes me. Hell, my marriages combined haven’t lasted that long. You and I lost touch for a while which I deeply regret mainly because I missed out on our friendship for so many years¬†but for those of you that don’t know Laura she is kind, loving, patient, giving, forgiving, honest¬†and funny. She gives without limits and is loyal to those that she loves.¬†How grateful am I that she loves me and calls me her friend.

Susan, you and I have been friends for about 6 years now but time can place no limits on genuineness. You are the patience that every friendship needs, that everyone should be able to experience. You are the ray of sunshine that everyone should get on a cloudy day. We have bitched together, cried together, and laughed together. Your ability to not only meet me but others where they are on any given day is astounding. Your girls are the luckiest to be able to call you “mom”. I am blessed to call you my friend.

The above are treasures that I could not imagine living the rest of my life without. Hopefully, one day I can give to you what you have given to me over the years and months.

If you have made it this far without crying you are better than me. But if you are crying let it be tears of joy, the joy of knowing that one can be blessed by God through people in ways that our minds can never imagine. My grandmother and her friend Ms. Kathleen as we call her have been friends for over 70 years so we ain’t got nothin on them. They are both widowed and call each other every morning and every night and more times than that when “The Batchelor” is on. Yes they are 90 and 91 years old and are addicted to that show. Personally, I think its great. Again, my grandmother has taught me so much in this life and now I can add the value of friendship to that list.

To all of the above, I treasure you and thank God for you every day. You are the hidden jewels that God has guided me to find along this journey called life.

Jonah and the Whale

Hopefully all of you have heard the Biblical story of Jonah and the Whale. If you have not it briefly goes something like this:

God told Jonah to go to¬†Nineveh and preach against the wickedness that was being done there. Jonah ran away from the Lord and went to a city named Joppa and boarded a ship bound for Tarshish. God then sent a great storm that tossed about the ship that Jonah was aboard. The crew panicked and threw everything overboard to lighten the ship but nothing worked. They then went below and found Jonah asleep. They woke him up and asked him to call upon his god so that they would not perish. The crew then decided to cast out lots to see who was responsible for the calamity. The lot fell upon Jonah. Jonah explained who he was and they then knew that he was running from the Lord. Jonah asked them to throw him into the sea to save their lives. They tried other things first but at last¬†finally threw Jonah in the sea and asked the Lord to not let them die for they thought that by throwing Jonah into the sea he would surely die. Fortunately for Jonah the Lord provided a “big fish” to come and swallow up Jonah. Jonah then stayed there for 3 days and during those 3 days Jonah prayed to the Lord. The fish then vomited Jonah out onto dry land. The Lord again told Jonah to go to Nineveh and Jonah did so.

Basically in a nutshell God told Jonah to do something, he ran, God caught him, scared the stew out of him but kept him safe in the interim and gave Jonah another chance.

Isn’t that what life should be about? None of us usually get it right the first time when it comes to some of these big decisions in life that we are faced with. I have been talking lately with a good friend and it is interesting that though we have only been friends for a short time she feels like she is in the belly of the whale and I have always felt like Jonah. God tells me to do something and in more cases than not my typical response is “not me, you must be referring to someone else”. It is at that point I usually pull out my track shoes and start running. I never get very far because God loves me so much that he sends the whale in some form or fashion and I¬†get swallowed up, spit out and back on the right path again. My friend says that she is in the belly and begging to be spit out. Somewhere, anywhere, just spit her out!

If someone were to ask you, are you running the other direction, in the belly, or right where God wants you? I think if we are all honest and are faithful followers of Christ we have at some point been all three. As I told someone the other day “I am learning to stop running so much”. Which in turn keeps me out of the belly which is definitely¬†a good thing. Man it can get rough in there sometimes. Can you take the different situations in your life at the present time and access¬†where you are? If you are running the other direction, will you make the conscious¬†choice to stop and go in the direction that you God wants you. Because my friends again, if you are a faithful follower you know what you are supposed to be doing, you just don’t acknowledge or comply, hence the reason you are running. If you are in the belly, will you call out to God to save you and then trust Him enough¬†spit you out right in the place that again, you know he wants you to be? If you are at peace that you are right where God wants you at this place and time in your life then Thank God because that is one of the most peaceful places that you will ever reside.

Right now I am at peace. My mother has recently experienced a recurrence of her Lymphoma, my job is very stressful, I have more than my share of financial expenses and I am not in a serious relationship with a man (which I think for once is a good thing). But despite all that I am in the most peaceful place right now and I thank God everyday for that. Because that peaceful place is one that only God can provide. It is my hope that if you are running you will stop and let God provide that peaceful place for you, it truly is the most wonderful feeling. My grandmother always says that “the choices that we make have a lot to do with the amount of peace that we have in our lives at any given time”.

Oh, one other thing…if you choose to stop running you can throw the track shoes away, you won’t be needing them. But if you choose not to stop remember this, those folks that wandered around in the desert for 40 years, still had the same shoes on after 40 years¬†as when they started. God will let you wander if you choose to….

I was told this week that I don’t have enough fun in my life. Wow, what a concept? Fun, do I even know what that is anymore. Who has time for fun? Work, Sleep, School, and then somewhere in there you have to live life. So I sat and I pondered on this for a moment and thought, I don’t have enough fun in my life. So my next thought was how do I fix that? Those that know and love me know that I am the “Queen” at fixing anything. I may fix it into an even bigger mess but by gosh I am going to fix it!

What is it that women like to do? The answer is really simple. The same things that we used to do as a child just on a bigger scale. Shop with our moms, hangout with our girlfriends, kiss boys who have now grown into men (well some of them anyway), spend time with our cat or dog, play in the sand (only now we want to do it sitting on a towel cause Lord help if that sand gets mixed in with our tanning oil)! Paint our toenails, stay up late and watch a movie.

As I continue on this journey I am realizing the importance of fun and laughter in our lives. I spent my birthday a few weeks ago with some dear friends and laughed till my side hurt and I thought that I was going to pee in my pants. Do you remember the last time that you laughed that hard. Afterwards, didn’t you feel the most relaxing feeling, like wow, I really needed that. I believe that God gave us the emotion of laughter for a reason and we need to use it more often than we do sometimes. Can you think of atleast one person in your life that makes you laugh that way? Right off hand I can name at least 4. I think that makes me extremely lucky. I get so caught up in living life that I don’t take the time to spend with these folks but when I do, I ALWAYS think to myself, “that was so much fun, I need to spend more time with them”.

I have come up with a few things that I think I want to do in the coming days and weeks that will add a little more fun to my life. See what you think…

Roller Skating, Deep Sea Fishing, Going to a movie with not just one but a group of the girls, Horseback Riding, Hot Air Balloon Ride, Parasailing are just a few.

My grandmother always said that the one memory she has from her childhood is that because there were 8 children they didn’t have a lot of money but the one thing that they had was laughter. If you spend time with her and her siblings now you can see why, all they do is laugh. That makes my heart smile.

What fun things are on your list? If you don’t have anything that is a problem!

Rock N Roll

How many of you don’t just love a good¬†classic Rock n Roll song. My sweet nephew, Andrew (above),¬†is teaching me that music, especially Rock n Roll has virtually no age limit. Andrew is 2 1/2 by the way and as his aunt I say with pride that the kid can tell you the name of every band member from the Rolling Stones, The Grateful Dead, The Foo Fighters and Dave Matthews just to name a few (oh and I forgot Jimmy Buffett,¬†his mom has¬†to censor those songs though, I mean after all he is only 2 1/2)!

Classic Rock N Roll is something that keeps me grounded, reminds me how simple and fun life can be. It can also be a metaphor for how we choose to live our life. You have heard the term “Rockin and Rolling”. Have you ever thought about which you are doing or are you a little bit of both. I like to think that I am a mixture of the two.

Let’s look at the first one, Rocking. To actually be rocking means that you are sitting in place repeating the same repetitive motion. Kinda like life. We get complacent doing the same things over and over again and I think that we do that because it creates a level of comfort. For most people comfortable is what makes us happy. It isn’t uncomfortable, scary, uncertain or any of those other crazy places we as humans don’t like to be. So therefore we continue to do the same things over and over and amazingly enough we actually think that we are going to get different results. If you rock in a rocking chair do you get any other place than maybe rocking so hard you rock yourself across the porch. Don’t ya just have to laugh when someone says “I don’t know why this keeps happening to me”, seriously? You might just be dumb as a rock, which explains it all. If this is you I am sorry but someone had to say it, bless your heart!

Okay…on to the Rolling. If you are rolling you are moving. Sometimes it may be backwards, but at least you are trying something different. I would like to think though that you are moving forward. Now there is the scary part. Moving can equate to growing or changing or whatever term makes you feel all warm and fuzzy and doesn’t send you back to rocking. My momma used to say “just try it” if you don’t like it then you don’t have to do it again but if you don’t try you will never know. That I think is the thought that propels me into the “rolling”. What could I possibly be missing out on that life has thrown my way. Most folks don’t roll out of fear. Remember that God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear, Satan does. Satan wants us to remain stagnant¬†in our lives and it can be a constant battle. One that I am not willing to lose. Overcoming my fears proves to be an almost daily challenge for me but I can say with certainty that it has led me to some amazing places, people and things in my life. It is interesting to me that the greatest fear in life is fear of the unknown but what if the unknown is something truly amazing.

My¬†friends laugh at me because I am constantly saying “that ain’t how I roll”. I am not sure why that always seems to make them laugh, maybe it’s not the statement but me they are actually laughing at but at this point I don’t really think¬†it matters, the point being that at least I am rolling. Trying everyday to be just a little bit better, a little bit stronger and a little bit smarter. My grandmother always says “If you always do what you have always done you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten”. I for one am tired of getting the same results so put your skates on, turn up the volume¬†and get rolling with me or if that just really is too scary for you then come rock with me on the porch if you can ever catch me sitting down.

Life really is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the music along the way!

Can’t Buy Me Love

I am super excited about this post because it represents two different favorites in my life, music and movies. Of course you have heard the famous Beatles song and then I hope that everyone has seen the movie with the very sexy Patrick Dempsey, aka “Ronald” or “McDreamy”. Personally I prefer both because even geeky can be sexy in a weird sort of way.

In the movie Ronald ends up paying $1000 to be seen with the prettiest girl in school and to try an become cool. I think that we have all been in that place at one time or another in our life. Everyone, I believe, has the desire to be loved and as we get older the harder we try to be cool during the process. In this movie Ronald ends up being exposed for trying to “buy his way in” but in the end as with any chick flick the guy gets the girl. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always end up that way in real life. We adults, sometimes unknowingly, put so many limitations or conditions on love. I am certainly not an expert on this subject. What I do know for sure and for certain is that the author of love, that being Jesus, can teach us everything that we need to know. The Bible says that love is patient, kind, it does not envy, or boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking and not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, it does not delight in evil. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails.

Keep in mind that all of the above are actions in regards to Christ’s perfect love for us as his children but they are also an example for his children (yes, that would be us) to strive for. I have realized a few things in my own life. First, I fail at most of these at one time or another on a routine basis. Secondly, the closer that I get to Jesus the more these things seem to automatically happen in my life. Thirdly, we can only achieve the above if we allow God’s love to flow through us and onto others. Lastly, every one of these is an action and Lord knows we are capable of acting. In my case acting up more than I probably should, just ask those that know and love me, they will tell you right quick like.

A special person that God has graciously allowed to be a part of my life¬†said to me¬†recently that love is the ability to put what others need ahead of your own. If you really study the above actions that is exactly what you are doing, making the choice not to be selfish, angry, patient, kind…you get the drift. That my friend takes work, work that no amount of money can buy. We make the choice not the payment to allow the actions to become a part of who we are¬†and we do. That doesn’t mean that we will perfect each one of these at all times but once we realize that we have the choice in how to act or better yet react then these actions amazingly seem to become more attainable. Unfortunately, I wish I had realized these things sooner then maybe I wouldn’t have made some of the choices that I did and wouldn’t still feel at times like I failed in so many ways.

There really are some things in this life that money can’t buy and true, lasting love is one of them. My grandmother always told me that “money can make things easier sometimes but it can’t buy happiness” I only wish that I had listened to her sooner.¬† The lyrics in the song go like this.

Say you don’t need no diamond rings
And I’ll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of things
That money just can’t buy
I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love.

Knowing that you are truly loved-priceless! My hope is that at the end of every day that we all have at least one person that we know without a doubt¬†“has our back” and that is again something that only love can give and money cannot buy.

Cowgirl Up

For those of you that don’t know, I grew up on a 200 acre farm and when I say farm I literally mean “farm”. It was complete with the cows, horses, chickens, multiple gardens, tractors, hay fields and even a fishing pond,¬†the whole enchilada. I learned early on not to get attached to any of the cows, no matter how cute, because at any given moment they might be my dinner on the grill. The horses I loved and still do today. The fact that an animal so big and powerful can be so gentle and kind¬†will leave you at times speechless. They have this way of being in tune with people, in many ways, more than we are in tune with each other as humans.

For those of you that don’t know the meaning of¬†“Cowgirl¬†Up”¬† it actually evolved from “Cowboy Up”, which means to toughen up or stop whining. The way that my momma used to put it was “Put your big girl panties on and deal with it sista”. Life has a way of toughening us up, if we allow it too. That my friend is the key. What you allow into your life and what you do not. Do not mistake though that there is a difference in being tough and being mean. For me to “Cowgirl¬†Up” means that¬†I take the hand the¬†I¬†am dealt at any given moment and make a decision about how¬†I will handle.¬†I¬†can learn from it, use it to make¬†me stronger and better as¬†I move forward or will¬†I whimp¬†out and blame it on someone else. To really “Cowgirl or Cowboy Up” means that you choose to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Taking responsibility can give us a power within ourselves that we never realized was possible. Responsibility allows us to change our situation, move forward, leave the past in the past. It is one of the most empowering gifts that we can grant to ourselves.

I continue each day to be amazed at those that refuse to “Cowgirl¬†Up” or take responsibility. Is that caused by fear, if so of what? Anxiety, stress, lack of control. Any of these could be a possibility. Ultimately in those times that I have chosen not to take responsibility I think that it has been out of fear. The fear to look within myself and see the flaws. Because to see them makes them a reality, a reality that I do not have it all together as I sometimes like to think. What I do know is that everyday I show up and I try and at the end of the day no matter what I can rest on the fact that I am a child of the Most High God and I am loved.

Another benefit is that it puts us in the game of life. I don’t know about you but I would rather be a participant in life than a reporter. To really push past your fears and anxieties and most importantly anger and¬†participate in your life opens up a world of opportunities¬†that we never imagined possible. The great thing about God in comparison to man is that he doesn’t force, he allows us to choose. But when we choose not to “Cowgirl Up” then I wonder how many blessing have we chosen to miss out on.

Growing up on that farm I was my granddaddy’s shadow and my favorite thing to do in the afternoon’s was to go to the barn and feed and brush and sometimes ride the horses. My grandmother always went with us, she said it was fun, honestly I think that she didn’t trust my grandfather to keep me out of harms way because his philosophy was “well….she will only get kicked once”. But she used to say “Angel are you gonna ride or sit on the fence”? At that time it was just a basic question, today that question has much more meaning. Will you “Cowgirl Up” or sit on the fence?

Angels

I normally don’t write directly about my family members but today I thought there is one that the whole world should have the opportunity to know. At the end of my blogs I always quote my grandmother. Other than Jesus she is my rock, the calm in the middle of the storm, my go to girl. She once told me that she loves me so much that she gives me to Jesus everyday and that if she could she would put me in her pocket and keep me there to always protect me from the world. My hope is that everyone has someone that loves them that way.

I can honestly say I am who I am today is¬†in great part, due to her influence. Over the years what has she taught me? That true love, the way that God designed it, can have no limits, give because you choose to expecting nothing in return for that reason there will be great joy. Love God first, your spouse second, your family third and then after that their behavior determines where they fall in the pecking order. Some family members are toxic and unhealty, love them anyway just do it from a distance. Pray without ceasing, never give up, fight for the things worth fighting for leave the rest to God. And most importantly “do unto other as you would have them do unto you”.

My grandmother is 88 years old, my therapist calls her the “wise woman”. She has lived through the depression, given up her parents and 4 siblings to heaven, loved her husband for 70 years and yes that time includes the present because she still loves him. Was married to him for 53 of those 70 years before he passed away from Alheizimer’s, and my dear friends if you knew my grandaddy that was a challenge sometimes, even in the days before he got sick he could be something else. When the doctors said that we needed to put him in a nursing home her response to us, her family, was “I made a vow to love and care for him in sickness and health and I intend to keep that vow”. Wow, what a concept to actually keep our promises. She has raised and loved two beautiful, caring, loving children who have turned out to be great parents themselves. She loves her 4 grandchildren more than we deserve. She once said to me “When Jesus is ready for me to come home I am ready to go, the only reservation that I have is that I love my family so much that I don’t want to leave them”. I hope that everyone has atleast one person in their life that loves them that much. She has prayed my mother through cancer and prayed her son through many other health issues. She has prayed her grandchildren through many a exam, boyfriends, girlfriends, marriages, divorces, and all of our other messes that we seem to get into.

You may be asking yourself at this point “why did she name this post, Angels”? I did that for three reasons, the first being that my grandmother has seen angels several times in her life and yes she will share those experiences if you ask to hear them. Secondly, because she is my earthly angel, I look at her in a crowd of people and am so thankful that I can call her “mine”. Lastly, my grandmother has many pet names for me but the one constant throughout my life is “Angel”, she says that the day I was born she told my mother that I looked like a little angel and therefore she has continued that to this day.

This is worth saying¬†again I hope that each of you has someone in your life that loves you this much. Everytime I talk to my grandmother she NEVER hangs up the phone without telling me “Angel, I love you”. I also hope that this gives you insight into why I am who I am. To my dearest grandmother, I love you more than I ever thought I could love another human being!